Absurd Singularity

Some questions that I just have to ask after watching way too much anime.

1. You are a mildly crippled widow who lost your one true love in a car accident a few years back and you've been living your life as a shadow of your former self. You now have a coworker who's madly in love with you. This coworker just confessed that he's been reading through ALL your correspondence for who knows how long, and I mean everything: emails, faxes, browser history even. What do you do?

    a. Strangle him with your bare hands.
    b. Get all weepy cause he... really... cares...
    c. Report him to the authorities and slap him with a restraining order.
    d. Sleep with the bastard.

2. Your significant other, someone you've known since you were little, gets into a traffic accident and winds up in a coma. How long do you wait for them to come out of the coma?

    a. A year.
    b. As long as it takes.
    c. Until someone more handsome/beautiful comes along.
    d. 5 years